Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Keeping to Me

I've lived in the same unit complex for over 15 years now; and I've learned a lot of things about a place like this.

I don't like living in unit complexes and seeing how long I've been here, I don't want to be living in another one anytime soon after moving out of here - and really do you blame me? There's a car park next to my place, I hear everything going on in everyone's lives. I smell it when somebody is having a cigarette, or has burnt their meal over the back fence and I even hear them having conversations right at my back fence.

Oh, yeah, I really want to move back into one of these places.

Noise is a big factor as well. I've put up with so much around here that no matter how polite I've been I've always been told to 'go fuck yourself'... yeah, nice. It gets to a point where I just don't care and when people say that to me, I walk off, call the police and let them deal with them. And I don't have the problem in the head, those who think it's okay to curse and swear at me do. All I'm doing is trying to get a good nights' sleep. 

Over the past 2 years I haven't made any effort to make any new friends here - and do you really blame me? I keep to myself and declutter my home, do my grocery shopping, get in and fix up my garden, watch movies/tv series on dvd at night while I knit and drink my green tea. 

I lead a very quiet kinda life. 

But I never used to.

It used to be all drama for me here because I had nothing better for me to do around here.

Now I have a car, I don't want the drama or problems of everyone around me. I want them to leave me the hell alone. 

I'm not here to solve everyone's problems. I'm here to live my quiet life of an artist, a gardener, a writer and an op-shopper. 

I don't want to hear people partying from dusk until dawn. I don't want to hear the fights which cause the police to come out and arrest people. I don't want to be the one people ask all the questions because I've been here the longest (we do have a Body Corporate - look them up and find out what you need to, people). 

I live here. I'm a resident. I'm not here to solve problems and I'm not the caretaker. Cleaning up the drains before a storm is not my job, neither is it to clean up the damned garden outside my house (that's why it looks like a dump). 

I'm keeping to me because I'm doing what I want to here. I'm not a loud person. I'm not annoying anyone and I don't want anyone getting into my face anymore. I'm getting too old for the drama and the 'Neighbours'-like lifestyle people seem to think is normal in places like this; when they forget that 'Neighbours' is just a soap opera and would never happen in real life. 

Real life is what you make it. It's not supposed to be easy, it's not supposed to be difficult. It's supposed to be an ongoing journey of what you work on for yourself. Once you understand that you're a work in progress for your entire life, well, that's just the beginning of the work on yourself. It took me years to figure that out - and I'm still learning about keeping to me. 

And still, people don't get it. 

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