Sunday, November 25, 2018

A Week Away...

I spent the last week on holidays at Brunswick Heads. Now, it was different to other times because I headed down there in November instead of December, I took along my painting gear and it was at a time of year when almost nobody was there until the last day or two before I left.

But I squeezed in a lot of things to do before I came home.

The day I arrived - the Sunday - I called a wonderful friend of mine who was in the Byron Central Hospital to see if she'd like a visitor. You see, Sue Notary told me to give her a call and she and I could meet up a week or two beforehand; but she fell ill and ended up in hospital with respiratory problems. Well, I called her mobile and she said she'd love to see me... and seeing I'd never been to that particular hospital (and I don't normally visit people in hospitals because I get lost in them and I'm not a big fan of the places). We stayed a few hours and headed back to the van for dinner.

On the Monday, I was up early and out and about walking around town to join up with a sing-a-long group we had spotted in the choir the night before. It was a great time for everyone there; but it would have been better if the organiser had written down how much it was in the newspaper instead of me finding out afterwards. 
But I had a great day out walking around the centre of town taking photos of the place with my tablet and having ice coffee and buying gorgeous things as souvenirs from 'Whatever' - my usual haunt every year when I go to Brunswick Heads. I bought myself another bedspread and I got to thinking that I might get in and buy a nice selection of them so I can use them over Summer... about 6 or so and my bed will look lovely over that season when I have to wash the sheets, I'll wash the bedspread I'm using. 

Well, on the Tuesday, I worked on a painting I had taken a photo of with my tablet and thought to make a day of it... the weather was lovely and cool and I really didn't want to leave my landscape painting alone. So, I stuck around the caravan and painted for the day. 
That night, we went out to the Brunswick Heads Bowls Club for Trivia Night. And what a time we had... but the meals were a little on the expensive side. Our team came last, but that didn't matter, we had fun with just Mum, Dad and me in it. 

On the third day in, Wednesday, Mum and I went out to have a look at op-shops. I jumped at the chance to go; mainly because normally these shops are closed over the time I'm there later in the school holidays. So, we jumped in the car and took off to the three around Brunswick Heads and then, we headed into Mullumbimby to hit their op-shops - but they only have two and one of them was closed. Before we went opshopping, we had lunch at The Middle Pub. This place is one of the oldest pubs in Mullumbimby; and has a huge lot of historical things and pictures inside it.
Before long, we had looked at the one op-shop which was open and looked around the other stores which caught our eye and then it was time to have a coffee - as it was not only really hot, but we really needed to recharge! So, Mum took me to The Empire Cafe & Bar to do that... and what a place! It's got the best ice coffees I've ever tasted! Before long, I had taken the photos I needed and bought a few things and it was time to get back to the van; as we spotted some ominous clouds starting to come over the back of the township. 

Thursday saw Brunswick Heads start out with a cool change. It was overcast, cold and windy and I took the opportunity that morning and raced out to get some great atmospheric photographs on the tablet. About an hour or so after I came back to the van, a windy, thundery storm hit with plenty of rain and spats of lightning. But it didn't stay... almost as soon as it hit, the clouds moved away and the skies cleared and the humidity moved in too. The trademark Brunswick Heads Summer Day returned! Mum and I jumped at the chance and we took off to the Tweed River Art Gallery to have afternoon tea and look around this wonderful gallery up in the hills of Murwillumbah. I bought two pairs of funny artsy socks and a lovely notebook for Mum, the latter of which I had gift-wrapped for her. I gave it to my Mum as a thank you for taking me places and paying for things for me. 

Friday saw me hanging out at the caravan, writing my NaNoWriMo and reading a bit of a book I had brought with me (and hadn't had a chance to read) and having a mud crab sandwich. Yes, Friday was a chill-out day. It was also a day where I organised myself with packing a little. I made sure all my books were packed that night, that all my clothes were folded, my shoes were in their bag, my chargers were in their place... yep, I was organised to leave Bruns and go home. 

Saturday morning saw me leaving Brunswick Heads later in the morning rather than early. I caught up with a local lovely lady, Joan, who my family had known since I was little. She and I chatted for about half and hour. I was on my way to get some milk at the service station and I dropped into her permanent van on the way through, but I forgot to text Mum that I was there... oops! Anyway, we chatted and she told me that there were going to be huge lot of changes in the park over the next year - but she'd believe it when she saw it. 
Well, a lot of things were talked about between us, and before I knew it I had to get going. Mum, Dad and I had breakfast, and coffee and then we had to swap the cars over (yeah, the new managers were picky about getting in a second car into the sites for any amount of time) and then I was off! 
It took me around 2 hours to get home - with a break at a BP truck stop at South Ormeau which I really needed. And just as well, I hit some big traffic on the way home at Daisy Hill. I'm glad to be home.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Six Months

It's six months since my wonderful friend in the UK died, and I've been in denial. I'm finally getting help for my grief and working with people on Beyond Blue website - who have been wonderful by the way. They have let me talk about things I can't talk about with my family and let me talk about how badly I've felt in the past months.

This is good.

I've changed in a lot of ways over the last six months as well. 

I've stopped worrying about decluttering my house at an enormous rate. It's not something of importance to me anymore. What's important is my mental health right now; and that I'm happy within myself. 

I think a lot of people are not happy with themselves in this world, and they don't know how to express themselves. This is a big problem. With the technology we have right at our fingertips, we find it difficult to get away from the computer screens, Netflix and the glowing blue screens in our hands. We hide behind them to guard our feelings and it's not as safe as we think.

I've been getting out more of late, and I've also been talking to a lot more people away from my computer lately as well.

At the last Logan Art Gallery Christmas Party, I talked to a lot more people than I normally did in the past. I sat with different people at morning tea and talked to them, letting them know what I was like - instead of sitting quietly writing poetry or on my phone checking my emails. At lunch, I sat with a completely different lot of people than I did last year. So, I got to talk to more of the other volunteers I don't normally work with. 

This is a good thing for me. 

I've been cooking more of my spaghetti sauce for myself and freezing it in meal-sized portions and enjoying different types of food - vegetarian food - and enjoying old movies from the 80's on Netflix and loving my vinyls more. I've been hanging out with my older brother more too. And I've found out that he's been trying to find a way to connect with me for years; and I've never known it. I asked him why he didn't tell me that, we could have worked on that sooner. 

I'm still sad about what's happened in my life. But I've changed things in my life greatly to make things work better. I've started going to the gym, and worked in the garden. I'm more giving and kind to complete strangers at the store - and expect nothing in return. 
Within six months, I have found that my life has completely changed for the better. I'm not as closed off and hard as I used to be. I'm becoming more generous, less stressed out and am working to be a better person. 

Monday, November 5, 2018

It's Been A While...

I thought to pop in and let you know I'm going okay, really. I've been reading, painting, writing and watching the garden come into itself.

I have also totally enjoyed my first few sessions of the Tuesday Social Classes at the Logan Artists Association. There's no big egos there and the people are lovely. We hang out, paint, talk, laugh and then eat lunch and shoot the breeze.

Yep, we're all just people on planet Earth - that's it.

I do have my bad days where I hear a song, see something online or just think about my dear friend and I still fall apart - but that's what grieving is about; dealing with it all. But I'm through the denial stage, which is one of the hardest parts of it. 

I've been sorting through my stuff lately... throwing out and giving away things again and getting back into making things for my family for Christmas. Now, I have my niece and my Sister In Law covered... the people I don't have covered is my brother, and my parents. How weird is that? Looks like I'll have to go op-shopping and see what I can find for them, right? 

But the garden is going so well! I'm still battling the mystery of the pooping local cat (yeah, it's still using every pot around the place as a kitty litter - talk about yuk!) and I'm spreading curry powder around to make it sneeze and run. Gotta get cayenne peppers to really make that cat go... burning its nose. Worked last time.

Well, that's my news today and for now... until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.