It's six months since my wonderful friend in the UK died, and I've been in denial. I'm finally getting help for my grief and working with people on Beyond Blue website - who have been wonderful by the way. They have let me talk about things I can't talk about with my family and let me talk about how badly I've felt in the past months.
This is good.
I've changed in a lot of ways over the last six months as well.
I've stopped worrying about decluttering my house at an enormous rate. It's not something of importance to me anymore. What's important is my mental health right now; and that I'm happy within myself.
I think a lot of people are not happy with themselves in this world, and they don't know how to express themselves. This is a big problem. With the technology we have right at our fingertips, we find it difficult to get away from the computer screens, Netflix and the glowing blue screens in our hands. We hide behind them to guard our feelings and it's not as safe as we think.
I've been getting out more of late, and I've also been talking to a lot more people away from my computer lately as well.
At the last Logan Art Gallery Christmas Party, I talked to a lot more people than I normally did in the past. I sat with different people at morning tea and talked to them, letting them know what I was like - instead of sitting quietly writing poetry or on my phone checking my emails. At lunch, I sat with a completely different lot of people than I did last year. So, I got to talk to more of the other volunteers I don't normally work with.
This is a good thing for me.
I've been cooking more of my spaghetti sauce for myself and freezing it in meal-sized portions and enjoying different types of food - vegetarian food - and enjoying old movies from the 80's on Netflix and loving my vinyls more. I've been hanging out with my older brother more too. And I've found out that he's been trying to find a way to connect with me for years; and I've never known it. I asked him why he didn't tell me that, we could have worked on that sooner.
I'm still sad about what's happened in my life. But I've changed things in my life greatly to make things work better. I've started going to the gym, and worked in the garden. I'm more giving and kind to complete strangers at the store - and expect nothing in return.
Within six months, I have found that my life has completely changed for the better. I'm not as closed off and hard as I used to be. I'm becoming more generous, less stressed out and am working to be a better person.
This is good.
I've changed in a lot of ways over the last six months as well.
I've stopped worrying about decluttering my house at an enormous rate. It's not something of importance to me anymore. What's important is my mental health right now; and that I'm happy within myself.
I think a lot of people are not happy with themselves in this world, and they don't know how to express themselves. This is a big problem. With the technology we have right at our fingertips, we find it difficult to get away from the computer screens, Netflix and the glowing blue screens in our hands. We hide behind them to guard our feelings and it's not as safe as we think.
I've been getting out more of late, and I've also been talking to a lot more people away from my computer lately as well.
At the last Logan Art Gallery Christmas Party, I talked to a lot more people than I normally did in the past. I sat with different people at morning tea and talked to them, letting them know what I was like - instead of sitting quietly writing poetry or on my phone checking my emails. At lunch, I sat with a completely different lot of people than I did last year. So, I got to talk to more of the other volunteers I don't normally work with.
This is a good thing for me.
I've been cooking more of my spaghetti sauce for myself and freezing it in meal-sized portions and enjoying different types of food - vegetarian food - and enjoying old movies from the 80's on Netflix and loving my vinyls more. I've been hanging out with my older brother more too. And I've found out that he's been trying to find a way to connect with me for years; and I've never known it. I asked him why he didn't tell me that, we could have worked on that sooner.
I'm still sad about what's happened in my life. But I've changed things in my life greatly to make things work better. I've started going to the gym, and worked in the garden. I'm more giving and kind to complete strangers at the store - and expect nothing in return.
Within six months, I have found that my life has completely changed for the better. I'm not as closed off and hard as I used to be. I'm becoming more generous, less stressed out and am working to be a better person.
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