48 Hours

It's only 48 hours before the beginning of 2020.

So much has happened in this decade, so many things have gone on. So many great people who have come into our lives have been lost - in our personal lives and in the film and music world. 

I mean, David Bowie, Robin Williams, Prince, Paul Walker, Leonard Nimoy, Luke Perry, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds (one day after her daughter), Elizabeth Taylor, Bill Paxton, Tom Petty, Aretha Franklin... and there's so many more of the people who changed the music and movies in our lives. A lot of us loved them, and will always be changed by them and their voices. Many more of them will always be missed by us all, no matter how many years pass. 

This year has been a difficult one for me as I lost another lot of friends who were close to my heart. One of them was my ex-boyfriend, Mark Davey. Even though we didn't date for very long, and I broke it off (because I wasn't ready for a relationship and really didn't want to hurt him - but I did), we did stay friends. However, as he became more sick with cancer, he pulled away from everyone around him. It still hurts to think and talk about him; but it's been only a couple of months. What does hurt the most is that Mark and I share a birthday, and that really will hurt a lot next year; not having him around to celebrate with me. 
I do have quite a few of his paintings in my house now. There's the first one he gave me on our first date - which is in my bedroom. It's the bunch of flowers he gave me, 'because these don't die.' I love them. Then, we bartered when I gave him a book on Frida Kahlo, and I scored on of his sculptures. Then, when his family gave some of his paintings to the LAA, I picked out 'Changing Positions' and wondered if there were any other Hibiscus ones around... and found a good-sized purple hibiscus painting, which nobody wanted. So, I took that one. They are all in my house; and I love them.

I've lost another few friends in my life who were close to my heart. Sue Notary passed away in June here in Brisbane, and I was going to go to visit her the following week. I couldn't make her service. She and I have been friends for some years, and I met her on a Facebook group. What a lovely lady to know. 

But this year, I've been painting and working on my next exhibition next year. It's been something which has been keeping me busy. During this past Winter, I worked on the upkeep of my garden and it's been looking good too. I moved things around, and have begun to throw things out. 
And on Christmas Night, I sat down and filled 6 rubbish bags with junk to throw out in the bin outside! On Boxing Day, I filled another 2 bags and tossed them in the bin outside. Then on 28th, December, I filled another 3 rubbish bags and threw them out in the bin too. Yes, I was on a roll! My bin is almost full, and I'm almost finished in cleaning up house - not quite done, but almost. I still have to clean out things and put things away. There's still so much to get done, and yet, it's just 2 days away from the New Year.

I wonder if I'll make it to before it's the New Year. I'm hoping so. What about you? Are you madly cleaning out the house for the new decade - like me? Or are you still working on getting in and working on the leftovers in the fridge from last week? Only kidding. I don't have any leftovers in my fridge; as on 27th, December, I had to go shopping and pick up some groceries. Well, that's all from me right now, until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

It's Christmas!

I'm not going to blame my lack of posts on this. Nope, I'm just damned lazy.

Yeah, that's it. Also I haven't been feeling great lately, either. I've lost a few more friends in the past few months; and just withdrawn a little more - not a good thing to do. But in doing that, I've concentrated on my art, my knitting and my garden.

So, when the time came to head down the coast, I was more than happy to get down there and chill out painting, walking in the early morning sunlight and get some serious photographs. 

It's always good to get your head straight when things aren't going well, isn't it? And the best place for me to do that is away from the city, by the ocean. It's just how I've worked. I got in and read half a good book, started reading another one, and did some painting, finished up knitting something and went out with my Mum to a few places around Brunswick Heads. 
Yep, it was a perfect time away for me. We ate mud crab, had good laughs, watched reruns of 'The X-Files' and Dad thought my night-talking was hilarious (I mumble in my sleep). 

Well, it's coming to the end of the year, and when I came home from the coast, I walked through the door of my house and thought: 'What a completely messy place I live in!' I hadn't unpacked when I started decluttering around my place! I had to, I just can't live like this. There were bags of things I sorted out, a grabbed a box and filled it up and stuck it next to the door and found I was unpacking from the coast and packing other things for the closest charity store at the same time.

I'm really looking at what I want in my house - and it's only days away from Christmas. The good thing is that I've got food in my fridge, the backyard is flourishing, the lawn is finally growing (from seed) and my good friends who looked after my yard for me did a great job. I gave them a lovely box of chocolate for being there when I needed them. And yesterday, I gave away 2 handbags, a set of drawers which sit on the counter, upcycled another set of counter-top drawers and filled a box with old paintings, clothes and other things I no longer need. I'm going to be doing this again this coming week, in readiness for the charity stores opening again. 

And next year? Well, in the first two weeks of January, my house will be cleaned out so fast and well by that time, the place will be unrecognisable. I'm not going to let it get filled up like it has been again. I'm not sure what's happened lately, but I just can't live with the crap around me like I have done in the past two years. 

So, what about you? Are you suddenly cleaning up and throwing things out? Are you doing a big clean out and giving things away? Or is it just me? Well, until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember I'm always here. Merry Christmas and I'll see you in the coming New Year. 

Last Day of the Month

I haven't been in here very much. But there's been so much going on lately in my life that I havent had time.

This month, I did the National Novel Writing Month; and smashed it by a day... with 8 words to spare. Last year I had 16 words spare. I really know how to cut it fine, don't I?

Anyway, last night, I was watching 'The X-Files' on Viceland, when an 8-legged young Huntsman took a stroll across my living room floor. He was very young because he stopped under my kitchen table and waited there for me to get my shoes on and grab the bug spray... normally something like that knows to hide. But I came back, and he was still there looking at me as though we were going to be friends. Yeah, me? Friends with a spider - I think not! I don't know who was more freaked out, me or him... but he's dead now.

Today, I got in and started cleaning up the house. First place was my art area next to the back door. I pulled out everything and reorganised everything, throwing out 3 big bags of crap, tossing out a box of sprung pegs I was hanging onto 'just in case' I needed them. And I also threw out picture frames I didn't want anymore as well... you see charity stores aren't going to use them, so I'm saving them the trouble of throwing them out. 

Well, the table easels were sorted, the calendars were too, and the blank canvases got a home too... I'm proud to say that the boxes by the door were gone through and I now have 2 plastic boxes and that's it. This took 3 hours to do and I stopped for a drink or two of water and an ice coffee... now I just want to go to sleep after something to eat. 

Anyway, in between all of this, I went out and bought my Christmas present to myself: a pair of Instep shoes. I've been meaning to get a second pair. They're just so darned comfy.  After I got home, I was back into the cleaning out... and I got it all finished. 

Before this was done, I did 3 loads of laundry, washed up some of the dishes and put out 2 other bags of rubbish. And after the clean-out, the bin outside is now full to the brim. What a great day I've had. 

Tomorrow, I'll be doing other things around the home office to clean up, and working on a Christmas present; so it won't be so hectic. Well, until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

East Coast Bush Fires

Okay, by now, you've all heard about the huge bush fires which have been terrorising us up the east coast of Australia from the back of Sydney, up the North Coast of New South Wales and the Gold Coast and around the back of Noosa and around the back of Ipswich, Logan City and further north here in Queensland.

Anyone who knows me personally as a good friend, I'm here to let you know: I'm fine. Stressed out to nothing else, but fine. I hate natural disasters like nobody's business, and get to the point where I lose sleep and suddenly bust into what I call 'stupid tears' but it's a way of dealing with the stress. 

But I'm okay otherwise.

I'm knitting like nothing else. I made a long beanie in 3 1/2 days - and that's fast for me; as it normally takes me 2 weeks. I needed something to do to keep my mind off what was going outside. I've been decluttering day and night so I have tidy house to clunk around in during the smokey and hazy days - which are no fun because I cough during them.

We're going into our 2nd day of smoke haze; which causes Brisbane to have worse air quality than Hong Kong, Tokyo and Beijing. On Monday, I wore a mask while I drove my car. You see, I hate having my window up when I drive because I like to be able to hear the other vehicles around me; and not be locked inside my car by my window and be deaf to the world. So, I wore a mask while I drove and scored a lot of people staring at me - mind you, they were all cocooned in their cars with their windows up and in their air-conditioned comfort. Yeah, good for them, wait until they park that vehicle and have to get out and walk around without a mask on. At least I had that covered.

Am I scared about the bush fires being this close? Yes, I am. I'm as scared about them as I was when we had the Brisbane floods in 2010/11 and the news was banging on about how many roads were cut, how much water there was around the place, how much food there wasn't in shopping centres... how much fuel we should have.. how much... what we should do. Emergency kits. And speaking of, I've even had my mind playing tricks on what I should be packing if we do get told to move (which is most probably never going to happen if it rains tomorrow - which I hope it does). 

Anyway, Just letting you know, I'm okay. The smoke haze is coming back today, and I'll have to close my windows here in my home office so my computer doesn't get stuffed up by it. But you know, I washed my car two weeks ago, and it's got a fine coating of soot on it... I keep washing it off, but it keeps coming back. I'm not washing it again until this is all over! Well, anyone I know out there, I hope you're all well, you're all going okay. Take care in this and keep in touch. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

This Month of Busyness

Well, I've been meaning to come in here and write - but well, everytime I do, life has just gotten in the way!

Let's start at the beginning, okay? 

My birthday was in the first week, and I drove to my brother's house with all birthday gifts for him and my niece (as they have birthdays two weeks after mine). Anyway, we had a great day and night together, with plenty of laughs and music. Their dog was just a sweetheart and sat my feet and enjoy the doggy treats I bought for her from Mount Tamborine last month. 

Then the following week, I scored a nice, heavy easel from the LAA. They were giving it away; and it was just perfect for the days where I'm going to sit and do detail work on a painting. So, it's a great piece to own. 
During the month, I worked on my garden, and shopped at Bunnings to get myself a good lot of cheap plants and some mix for the garden. I also moved my plants around to make more space for the Tahitian Lime tree; as it needed the room to grow. 

I had moved the office around a little last month, and so I began to shred a lot of paperwork from the filing cabinet and looked into what kind of new desk I'll be getting for my office - as I'm going to be doing that in the new year. However, the front garden and backyard still have a few little things which needed work on. 

My artwork came along well at the Tuesday Art Group. I finished on painting, and continued with a few others. There were two I'm working on; on called 'The South Arm' while the other is called 'The View' - both oil paintings and both nearing their completion. I can't wait finish them both, and move onto new work. I've decided to not only paint landscapes of the Northern Rivers area of Brunswick Heads, but also Brisbane, Sandgate and around Thorneside and Logan City. It'll give for a wider scheme of projects and I'll be able to work on a better lot of places over the next year or so. 

My beanies are finally in their exhibition at the Logan Art Gallery's Pop-Up Store. They're all for sale and I do take on commission works if you wish. Just tell me what style you're looking at, and the colour you'd like, and I'll work on it over the next few weeks. I'm a fast knitter. 

This month has been a wild ride. I've had some sadness just before my niece's birthday, though. My dear friend, Mark Davey, who lived to paint and draw every day, passed away from cancer. He was suffering from another illness, but that wasn't what took him away from us. He was the best man anyone could call a friend. He encouraged me in my work, pushed me to become a financial member of the Logan Artists Association and showed me ways to paint like I've never thought possible. I will miss him dearly as a friend, a fellow artist and a Birthday Buddy as well (as we shared a birthday together). Rest well, Mark. Paint your part of Heaven in the way you did in life - with every colour on your palette; and more you never saw here.  

A Busy Month

Oh yes, it's been a busy month; and I've finally got time today to tell you all about it.

It's raining. It's Spring and it's raining - finally. The thunder is rolling overhead, which is lovely, and my garden is getting watered without me having to do it. And I've worked on it for most of the year - just little things really - but the plants are going well. 

It's October already and my birthday has been and gone, my brother's birthday is today, and I'm working on cleaning out my home office. I've almost got the black 2-drawer filing cabinet cleaned out, and will be shredding more things from the place today. Along with that, I'll be moving all my stationery into a better place, so it doesn't take up the space on top of Grandpa's desk. I still use this desk for what I need and I'll be cleaning it out for what I want - as it's got so many little things in it from his time (and I love so much in there but it's not of any use for anyone now). 

A lot of what I've been doing lately is preparing for the Pop-Up Store at the Logan Art Gallery. I've made a few beanies and found an old suitcase which I've had in storage for ages. I cleaned it up and cleaned it out and have begun to put things inside it to take to the demonstration day there. I can't wait until that day. It's going to be a good day. 

Otherwise, I've been putting things away, cleaning out and donating items to charity. The garden also got a clean up over Winter and now, just yesterday, I put out some lawn seed and watered it in. And thankfully, it's raining and I don't have to water this afternoon. It'll help with germination of the seed. 

I'm doing National Novel Writing Month next month; and so far, I've been very prepared with everything - from the research to knowing what I want to write about. I've begun a draft of the work too. So, I'll be working on something straight away when it comes around next month; which is great! 

But I'm taking it easy lately, seeing I've got laryngitis. And the doctor told me to chill out and not talk unless I need to; no whispering or singing. No singing? Oh man... but then, I have a cough which sounds like a horn now. I guess it's going away. I just have to make sure to not sing or speak - kinda hard when my phone rings and people keep trying to sell me things all the time or the NBN keeps telling me to join the NBN when I've already done that. Or some body is trying to scam me saying somebody I know is in hospital.... well, how can I not speak? 

Oh well, can't win 'em all, right? 

Anyway, that's my month. It's been busy and weird. We've had a heatwave and freezing cold nights. We've had four seasons in one week - and a day too - and yet, it's still October. Halloween is coming up and I'm looking forward to that as well.  Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here. 

October

It's the beginning half of my birthday month; and so far it's been so busy, I've barely had time to sit still.

I've spent last weekend at my brother's house for my birthday - where we all swapped gifts. And thank goodness we did that! Because this weekend, I've begun losing my voice. On Thursday last week, I was forever clearing my throat, and just couldn't loosen up the frog from my throat in the morning, and by last night, I simply couldn't raise my voice higher than a whisper. 
This morning, I was coughing and sounded horrible. So, off to the doctors I'm going to see what I've caught. I'm feeling fine, it's just my throat which isn't.

Anyway, this week, I had so much planned to do - like heading back to the gym on a more regular basis - but that will have to be put on hold until this throat clears up. Then, my art group will have to be missed until I'm better (yeah, I'm not going anywhere near there until I'm less contagious). 

I've been decluttering my place in big ways again too. I cleared out a big space in under the stairs and it was great to get rid of things I seriously didn't need anymore and get them off to the charity stores. 

But today, I reorganised my back garden too. My Tahitian Lime Tree needs a new - bigger - pot and so does my Ficus, and I'll be buying a the new pot for the Tahitian Lime first. It's trying to put out fruit, so I'll get some citrus mix for it and then a large pot for it too, and repot it by November. Then I'll do the Ficus before Christmas.

This first half of my birthday month has been great - except for my forced silence of my voice - otherwise, I'm going well. So, how are you all? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here. 

A Busy Time!

I've been meaning to come here and talk, but every time I do, I feel as though I have to wait and see how something in life works out first.

Now, it's Monday morning. Spring is definitely here in Australia and the birds have eaten every berry off the Moch Orange shrubs in my garden... such cuties they are! And I've finally got time to sit and talk here.

My life has been weird lately.

I'm knitting a lot of beanies - more than I did with the commission for the Logan Art Gallery - because I'm doing a demonstration in a few months there; and need to have enough to show while I'm there in November. But I'm also knitting a lot because it's something to do with my hands at night and I really do enjoy it.

I'm painting still too. But I'm not doing it for profit, I'm painting because I love to paint and make lovely pictures. It doesn't matter what I paint, so long I enjoy my work.

And then there's the garden. I've been working in it a lot lately. There's been herbs to replace, the lawn to work on over the next few weeks (because it's just dirt now) and plants to replace because they've died and need to be replaced with lovely new greenness. 
Otherwise I do enjoy being in my garden; as it's my escape from the outside world.

Speaking of escaping from the world... I'm finally getting into my home office declutter. Yay! Yes, it's been a long time coming and I'm working hard on getting rid of the crap from this particular room. So far, I've won a small shredder and gotten in and shredded 2 rubbish bags of paper from the top drawer of the filing cabinet and they've been tossed in the bin outside! Woah! That's a lot of stuff to get done. And my tall bookcase and Grandpa's Desk have swapped places in the office in the first part of the office make-over. 
I'll be getting rid of the saggy bookcase and the desk I'm currently working on - and replacing the bookcase with a good, sturdy IKEA one to put next to the tall one. The tiny one by the window will go where the old saggy one went and then the old desk will be tossed, and I'll get a plain, ordinary student desk with drawers - nothing exciting. This corner desk is falling apart and wobbles all the time. So, it's getting tossed. The filing cabinet is going to be my Dad's, and everything the office will be moved around... I'll have more floor space and it'll be better in every way because I'll be able to open the other curtain in the daytime. 

So, part one has been done, and I'm looking forward to part two and three happening soon. I'm just working on saving up money to buy the desk and other bookcase. I'll need another shelf for the small bookcase... but that's nothing really. Well, it's a lot of news in a post, right? But, that's what happens when you forget to write. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here. 

Zero Tolerance

When you hear that, you know exactly what it means, don't you?

Of course you do! It means: no bullying, no blazing, no putting anyone down in public, at schools, online or offline, over the phone, on Facebook, on Twitter, on Snapchat or any other social media and really exactly why in the hell would you want to?

My question to you is this: would you go and push somebody around face to face if you told them off from the complete and total safety of your keyboard? No, you wouldn't. I wouldn't. It's just not like me to something that backwards and idiotic.

So, why to people who live on the other side of the planet take it upon themselves to come onto my Facebook page and tell me what I can and can't upload onto it? Why do they message me and tell me to take down what I have uploaded - and other people find lovely, sweet and inspiring - and yet they find it's not what they want to see today? Why do they push their crap onto me and make it out to be something I should be taking on when I have enough on my plate in my life as it is? 

I'm not expecting an answer from any of you. But if you want to answer, go ahead. I've already posed this question on Facebook and have gotten these questions answered from one place - it's okay if your up to answering a bunch of questions from me today.

But this person was grieving and he happened to be having a really awful day - as you do when you grieve (and we all grieve in different ways) - and he just wanted to dump his emotional wastebasket all over me. 
However, what he didn't take into mind was that I'm also grieving, but not over just one person (like he was), but I'm grieving over three people that I've lost over the past 18 months. I deal with my grief in such a different way to him that he thinks I don't care - but I do. If I let my grief takeover my life like he has, I'd be a wreck.

I'm doing positive things to help not only myself, but others as well. I'm working on my health, self-worth, self-love and I'm talking to my family. I'm painting, reading, writing, and I'm also creating so much I've got three exhibitions in the next month that artwork is going into! I'm hoping to get all of it sold! 

That's not all. I'm working on my garden, keeping my social contacts active - all my friends know I'm going okay (not great, but okay) - and yes I have my bad days, but I'm working on getting better with my dearly departed friends who meant so much to me. I've been working on my garden, on my car, and decluttering my home office; one bag at a time. I'm planning a road trip, planning on re-arranging my home office and getting another desk and a new bookcase... I'm keeping myself active.

This guy seemed to not care that I'm doing my level best to keep positive about what's going on in my life as I try to help people deal with the crap pouring from the social media and the news stations every day... my Facebook wall is one of those few which is about inspiring others, love and caring for each other. I do talk about what's going on in my life, but it's more often than not an inspirational picture with a quote on it. This isn't just for him to look at, it's for everyone - as it's a public post for the world to see. 

I'm afraid to say that if he doesn't like what he sees, he'll have to just deal with it - as I do when I come across the crap and violence which does come across the newsfeed on Facebook. 

We can't control what happens in the world, but we can control how much we see of it and how it affects us. If you don't like something on Facebook, don't look at it, scroll past it, don't comment on it, don't stalk the uploader and don't tell people what they can and can't upload - that's being an arsehole and a controlling person in their world. 

If you can't deal with your day, don't go online and make it other people's problems. We have no idea how your day is, what your pain is, or how things are going for you, but if you can't deal with what's on your plate, it is time you did go to your local doctor and started talking to them about your pain. Going online is not the way. 

I just had to get this out there because this is how I feel. 

August Already

July was a busy month for me. 

I got the go-ahead to make as many Crazy Beanies as I could to be put into the 'Pop-Up Store' at the Logan Art Gallery. And now, these are beanies which are my own design; so I'm really stoked about this. Also, they want any baby beanies I have been making too.

Then, I'm taking part in an exhibition at the Logan Artists Association too. There's one painting which I'm due to hand in next month - as I've finished it this week and have to paint 2 more edges on it... and then? Well, that's it! I wait for it to dry completely and it's ready to take in!

Over the next 3 months, I'll be cleaning out my home office and searching for a new desk and a new bookcase for it. The old desk and bookcase (the brown one with the badly sagging shelves) will both be tossed out in the recycling bin and I'll be reorganising the whole room to cater for me. There will be more room as well.

By November, this office will be completed and then I'll have a few things ready on the car too, and the garden as well. I seriously can't wait to get it all done. It's been a long time coming when it comes to this kind of thing too... and I'm also going to look into op-shops and see what kind of desks they have too. So, I'll be driving out to places where they'll have furniture and be able to deliver too. This is going to be a fun thing for me.

Well, the garden is going to get a clean up too... just a little one. I need to get in and spread the lawn seed out, and fertilise it too. And I'll find some garden lights as well. Seeing I got the Agapanthus all split up and organised into bigger pots, I'm sure they'll be flowering this Summer - all purple flowers, how pretty is that?

It sounds like a lot, but it's not really. I'm really just staying home and going through a lot of junk here and throwing out things I no longer need. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Learning to Slow Down

Over the past year, I've been working hard to forget about the death of my dear friend. I thought if I stopped or slowed down too much, the sheer thought of her passing would bring me to a crashing halt again. 

But that's not true.

A few months back, I landed in the A & E of the Greenslopes Private Hospital and it was because I had almost burnt myself out. The doctor in charge there asked me if I'd been through a huge loss, and I said yes, and he asked if I had been working hard on things all year - and not letting her go. I hadn't really thought about it, but I have been doing a lot of things in the past year to stop myself from thinking about Hannah.

I'm beginning to slow down a little now. I'm working slowly on things, enjoying a movie on Saturday nights again, reading the newspaper on Sunday mornings. Hey, I've even gotten back into reading part of a book before turning out the light again - now I haven't done that since before Hannah died last May. 

At long last, my life is beginning to get back into some kind of normal again. But it's her memory which I'm trying to keep alive as well. I guess this will take time to do with people who knew her.

Things in my life are taking shape though. Hannah did ask me to live a better and more fulfilled life than she did (she did more than I've ever done), so I almost immediately started saving up for a camper after she passed away. I also cleaned up my garden, started cleaning out my house on a major scale and put into work a beanie I've always wanted to design... and I'm well on my way to getting into the type of life I've been only planning. 

The one thing I have to do to get this life plan of mine working properly is to slow down. I have to learn to watch life pass me by a little, relax and enjoy what I've got and what is going on around me more and learn to wait for things. Yep, life is one big lesson on waiting isn't it? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Family Dinner

I'm an introvert... well, when you live on your own, you kinda become one. And it's something which affects how your house looks. 

I do clean the house, the floors, do my laundry on a regular basis and toss out the rubbish into the bin outside - but I rarely have visitors come to my house for dinner or lunch.

It's just a thing I don't do because I like my privacy and so the house and how it's presented doesn't look like a home you'd see of a normally social person. I don't put things away straight away. I have unusual-looking things in unusual-looking places - and yes I think it's normal. 

Being an artist, I have all my art things within easy reach of where I want them. My knitting box is right next to me so I can access it at night - and it's rarely put away. And when it is, a lot of the times, I can't find it because I have the most rotten memory. 

I never make my bed - unless I have to, like for example, when I go on holidays. Yep, I make my bed then, because there's nothing worse than coming home from a week or so away and you didn't make your bed before you left.

I'm constantly cleaning out the house - there's always something being thrown in the bin or taken to a charity store. I'm always moving things around the place to make the most of the room I have... and yet, I still don't have enough space for anything I have already. 

And this week, I have my parents coming over for dinner... and yes, this is freaking me out. I haven't had them over in so long, that I've spent a few days just cleaning the house, putting things away and tidying up. So far, it's looking good. 
Today, I did the last-minute shop where I got what I needed for the dinner tomorrow night. And this afternoon, I'll be putting away a few things and vacuuming and dusting everything I can. It'll take a few hours, but it'll be worth it. Then, I'll get in and chop up most of the vegetables and put them into a bowl of water for the cannelloni tomorrow night. This saves me chopping them up tomorrow afternoon; and I'll have more time to get in and do more around the place.

I know I should keep the house tidier, but living on your own isn't easy. When you're on your own, you have to do everything - from the cooking and cleaning to the gardening and shopping and paying your own bills. A lot of the times, you can't get on top of everything completely. It takes a long time to have the house completely tidy - and you normally have to put down absolutely everything you're doing in your life and spend weeks cleaning to get it anywhere near what you want your place to look. But keeping it tidy turns out to be too difficult for me. So, the townhouse gets a big clean-up once in a while and I try to keep it tidy for a few months; and fail miserably. 

I really do wish I could do better... does anyone else have this problem? Or am I alone? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember I'm always here.

Watching Jupiter

Yep, I've been watching Jupiter pass by Earth's orbit in the past couple of nights; and tonight is the last night to see it in all its glory. After all it's the brightest 'star' in the night sky when you look up right now. And seeing it's the biggest gas planet, I'm not gonna miss it moving past us.

Okay, you caught me out, I'm a total planetary-space geek. I love whatever goes on out beyond the solar system and beyond. It's something which has totally fascinated me since I was little; and I'm not ashamed to say it's going to fascinate me until I'm old and can't see anything beyond my nose - even with glasses. 

But I've been busy with things on Planet Earth right now. I'm still going to social painting classes; and working hard on my next body of work. I've applied for a few things at the Logan Artists Association too. I'm also saving up big to buy something in the next year for myself... something which will keep myself looking around and active in a big way for the rest of my life.

Little Green Machine is going to be worked on in the next year or two and have some additions of a tow bar and roof racks put onto her. Yep, I'm not looking into selling her anymore. I'm improving on her instead. 

My life has been good in the past few months and I'm working myself more. It's been a year since Hannah took her life; and I'm remembering what she last told me to do with my life: live it to the fullest and better than I ever could. And I'm going to do that, dear friend. I've been making my life the best it can be. I'm working on my garden, painting and enjoying a better social life, and decluttering my house in the biggest way - bigger than in the past few years. And now, I've donated my hair for the Leukaemia Foundation and I've gotten into knitting beanies on a big scale too. 

How weird is that? I just can't stop knitting beanies... not ordinary ones either, strange ones for all kinds of people. 

Well, that's my news for now. I'm keeping well, haven't caught the flu (touch wood) and don't wish to either. And I'm do my best to keep myself well. I hope you're all doing well. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Learning New Things

It's been a busy month for me, and I'm looking at the second part of this year in a different way than I did at the beginning of this year. 

Now, as some of you know, I'm decluttering my house, and now it's going to become something of a bigger thing. I've become more honest and brutal with what I'm going to get rid of, I'm hoping to save more money as the year goes on, get more things done with the car, look at what I really need in my life and what I don't need.

Yes, my whole life is going to be upended and worked out completely - and it's going to be something which will hurt in one way, but will work out for the better in a lot of other ways. 

Why I'm doing is will reveal itself soon enough, and I'm hoping my plans work out when I'm ready to say. But I've been going through the wardrobe. I'm using up all my knitting yarn, I'm maintaining my garden, I'm working on getting rid of what I no longer need anymore and it's making me feel good. I'm also getting in and pushing myself to make good habits around the house, get rid of bad habits and work on what I need to so I can work things out in the next few years. 

Otherwise, my life is going okay. I've begun reading a cool psychology book about how the mind works. I'm knitting a few beanies at a time. I'm looking at how much food I'm buying every fortnight - and streamlining it even more so it doesn't cost me more than it needs to. I'm saving more money than I did last year at this time. It's really cool though, I'm not going without anything, but I'm learning new things right now, which are going to help me in the next two years. 

So, what are you doing which are going to teach you new things over the next few years? Are you doing anything now which is going to be benefit you in the future? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

This Week

In the past week, my next door neighbours moved out and the place is quiet. However, the people two doors down are new and quite noisy... and it's not just me who has noticed this. Our caretaker doesn't like them a bit.

Then, I've been caring for the back yard - mowing it, and making sure it's healthy. And seeing it's coming into Winter, it's well and truly slowing down to the point that next month, I'll be able to do some serious work on it. I'm making sure I don't spend too much money on things I don't need - and I so I'm staying home to save that money. 
I do need a new, larger pot, more potting mix and maybe a few other pots for some other plants I have to create for the garden... just until next year.

I've been knitting recycled yarn from op-shops into beanies and tea-cosies. But I'm not making them for just anyone, these are hopefully going to be for the Pop-Up Store for the Logan Art Gallery this year. I have to talk to Jillian and ask if I can still be in the store this year. 

I'm still declutter (as you can see on 'A Work In Progress' Blog) and I'm getting really good at just giving away what I don't need anymore. Yep, I'm very good at doing this now. And like anyone, I do have my drawbacks on what I want to keep and what I don't. I guess nobody's perfect. 

Well, that's about it really. I hope this Winter is nice and cold - for once - and we do get some good chilliness this year for the sub-tropics. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

It's Almost Winter

Okay... I haven't written much, but then, it's because I've been so busy lately. But really, that's no excuse is it?

Nope.

Well, since the beginning of this year, I've been raising money for the Leukaemia Foundation and organising the Logan Artists Association to get in and help me raise the money to get my head shaved. To date, I've raised over $900! What a great lot of money to raise for a worthy cause!

I've been saving up money for personal needs around the house - like a new vacuum cleaner. My old one - a Black'n'Decker - died a few months back, and so I found one at Godfrey's and thought to save up for it. As fate would have it, Mum hurt herself, and I helped her with the ironing and she paid me for it while I was saving up some of my pension and - before I knew it - I had enough money to get myself this new vacuum cleaner: The Titan 2000. And what a cool little clean it is! It's a bagless, low noise vacuum and it pulled out so much crap out of my carpet, I couldn't believe how much dirt came out of my house!

This has caused me to put away more things, throw out more and organise my place better - all because I got in and vacuumed. How weird is that?

I've also been just throwing things into the new Donation Box by the garage door. It's big, purple and plastic - unlike the cardboard box which looked like it was falling apart. So, I've just been going through my house and tossing things into this bigger box and making decisions about what I need here and what I don't. 
Recently I threw everything from the living room floor into the Donation Box - to clean up the living room - and today I went through it and threw out three-quarters of the stuff in there in the bin; mainly because it's just newspapers and rubbish. The rest of it is donation/charity stuff.

The garden is looking good. It still needs a few things to complete it - like a few pavers and I need to buy some bags of Brunnings garden soil too. Otherwise, it's going well. Maintaining it hasn't cost me too much. I'm happy with it. I've also gotten rid of the Matchstick Tree and the Firestick Tree - mainly because they've taken over the garden and they're highly poisonous. I've also given away my fairy lights to a friend (who gets more sunlight in Winter than I do) and they would look better in her garden. I'm going to opt for the little solar spot lights instead... but I'm getting them when Spring comes around.

I've been also working hard on deciphering my late-Grandfather's diaries. It's not an easy task, seeing how many there are, but it's been a real education on what he did when he was young, how hard he worked and how he really loved Grandma; and what kind of life he led out at Cecil Plains, Allora, Warwick and Toowoomba. What a life my Grandparents led out there. I'm really glad to be doing this. And I'm not doing this just for myself - I'm working together with Mum to get these published for the family to each have a copy.

Well, that's what's been happening lately... along with my hair being donated for wigs this year. Yep, it was long enough! I hope to be writing more soon. Until my next post, take care, stay safe, and remember, I'm always here.

It's May

I'm sorry I haven't posted much. But I've been really not dealing all that well with life lately.

And it's coming up to a year since my dear friend, Hannah, passed away, and it's feeling all fresh again. I hate how I'm feeling but I really am trying to live a better life - as she asked me to before she died last year.

It's been difficult. 

I am writing to her Mum, because nobody else is. And yesterday, I sent her a Mother's Day card. You see, when I visited in 1997, she became more of Mum to me than anyone over in the UK than anyone I visited. Aunt Ethel acted like a strict Grandmother, The Berry's had their own marital problems (and they shone through their happy family charade). And so, when it came to Sue Northedge, I was treated like a daughter in so many ways, she became my Overseas Mum - and I became her Overseas Daughter. 

When Hannah died, I wrote to Sue and told her that I remember she told me that all those years ago; and then I called her and she told me that she hoped I remembered that too. And she's so pleased that I want to keep in touch; as none of Hannah's friends are really talking to her right now. It's really because nobody knows what to say when it's a suicide. And in truth, I don't know what to say either, but at least I'm trying. 

And thus: the Mother's Day Card. She is still a Mum no matter what; whether Hannah is here or not. And Sue has a son too. 

I'm also working on a few written things which aren't fiction... strange that I'm delving into non-fiction for once. And the best thing about this is that it's a family non-fiction thing I'm doing. I'd rather not say too much about it otherwise I'm going to ruin the surprise in the end for the rest of my family. 

Otherwise, I'm back working in the garden, the house is looking good. I've bought a new vacuum cleaner - a bagless one - and I'm donating more things than ever! I have to get some archive boxes in the next week and then put some away in the wardrobe so I can do more cleaning out. 

Wow! What a big weekend I have ahead of me - and it's a long weekend again too! Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Changing Seasons

It's finally beginning to look like Autumn/Fall... and I'm really happy about that! I'm beginning to really enjoy the gym; and getting back into the garden again too.

The first members exhibition at the Logan Artists Association is finished and I picked up my paintings and bought artworks for the house... and I'm getting together some of the things I'm giving away tomorrow on my day out with Elisabeth while I'm hanging out in the living room this arvo.

But today, I went to the gym, chatted to my next door neighbour and then after a shower, I repotted some of the plants in the backyard to get in and start on my maintenance of the garden. It's not going to cost me as much as it did last year - you know, over $300 - but it's just the finishing touches of the whole thing really. I'm looking forward to getting it all done. 

I'm also still knitting the beanie scarf. I'm up to the 3rd colour and; and it's looking great! And man, it's really long! I can't wait to get it finished and wearing it... but all good things take time, right?

Anyway, I'm reading and writing again. I don't know why I was in such a slump, but it's all worked out well. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Rain and Other Funny Things

Well! On Thursday last week, I got my head shaved for the World's Greatest Shave! It was done on the most humid of days, it was on a Thursday (14th, March) and Mum and Dad were there with Ellie the Grand-dog... and we had a great time at InVogue Hair Designers.

Then, that afternoon, we had a huge storm and it poured rain all night.

Okay, then, is that what it takes for Brisbane and half the state of Queensland to get rain? I have to shave off all my long red hair and donate it? I'll have to remember that one the next time Australia goes through a big dry spell again.

Only kidding!

Anyway, I've been busily looking through things, throwing out rubbish and watching my back yard green up over the past 48 hours. And man, have we been getting some big falls too! I'm so glad the rain is here! And it's getting cooler, but I'm all prepared for that too, with warmer hats and beanies - some of which I've made - and other warmer gear too.

But last week, I was out every day, either looking after Ellie, or getting the hair donated, or doing some errands around the place or going to the Logan Artists Association (but that didn't work out, so I came home). 
This week is turning out to be busier than last week, with me having two appointments on almost every day... and I'm hoping to remember them all. 

This weekend has been a good one. I've finally begun writing again. It's a slow start to a new book, but it's something at least. I hope it goes somewhere; as my character is a new one I'm also getting to know. Oh well, let's hope she's a good one. I might pair her up with another one I've written about before and it'll pull the story along into a better dimension. 

How's your week been going? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

A Few Rough Days

Over the past week or so, I've had a bit of rough time. It's been tough getting along into this new year without Hannah in it; but it's even harder to wait out the Writer's Block I have too.

So much is going on this year, and I'm so happy with how fast this year is going so far.

Thus far, my air-conditioner in the home office crapped itself and Dad and I pulled it out and put in a screen to let the air flow through again - and it's been great during the night to have that nice cool air upstairs.

I'm on the fund raising track again for the World's Greatest Shave - and this year, I'm shaving off all my hair and donating it, just like I did 4 years ago. So, by this time tomorrow, I'll have no hair, and it'll be on its way to Melbourne to be made into toupee's, wigs and fringes. 

Today, I was out and about catching up with things and doing small errands around the place when I found a little bird - kind of like a sparrow - sitting on concrete outside the post office. Well, it wasn't looking too happy, panting away there, and I picked it up and decided to look at it.
When it screamed at me but didn't bite me, I knew something was wrong. And when I found there were no fleas on this bird at all, I knew there was something really badly wrong. Fleas - you see - are the one thing which love blood flow. They feed off an animal with blood flow. And when the flow of blood is really low on an animal, they go elsewhere for their food. So, to find no fleas or mites on this bird was a red flag for me. This bird was sick and coming to the end of its life - actually when I looked closer at the bird, I realised it had suffered a huge stroke and was waiting to end its life. 
I made the decision to stay with the bird and make it comfortable, by keeping it cool. When birds have a stroke like this, they can't keep themselves cool, because they don't sweat. So, when we as Humans do this for them, it helps them comfortably die - I know this sounds morbid, but it's not. It stopped panting and I thought to move it into a tree. I couldn't leave him/her alone though. So, even though I put him/her into a lower-most branch, I stayed until it died. You see, it was blind; and so I stayed by so it wouldn't hurt itself. The stroke had blinded this poor little bird completely - as most strokes in little birds do. 
And it's been so hot lately, that a lot of little birds are really suffering from heat stroke and they're suffering from massive strokes too. It's a sad thing to realise this in my busy day of running around, but it's something to keep in mind.

I knew what to do with this little bird because my little budgie suffered a massive stroke in 2012, and I stayed by her until her last moments. It hurts to see a little bird leave this planet, but it does show us Humans that we must make sure we're here in the present moment to help the little animals - to see the smaller things in life - and not to ignore them; which so many people did when I was tending to this tiny bird.

Otherwise, I've been busily working in my garden, thinking of what else I can do for the birds and animals around the area to help them in the heat and during this year. I potted up more new herbs to see me through the Winter (as the other lots had gone to seed) and then? Well, I refilled the water platter for the birds, and thought I might get in and save for a nice one to put in the garden for the birds and animals, one closer to the ground and in the shade. Well, until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Tip-Toeing Through Life

I have found that the past few years have been a minefield of apologising to everyone around me, being sorry for who I am online and stopping myself from saying the 'wrong thing' to people who don't like what I do.

And I'm not the only one it seems.

I've just spent the last hour or so saying sorry on Facebook and on another site I'm a member of for other people's bad moods - and I damned well bloody sick and tired of tip-toeing through the tulips all because others are insulted about what I say or do.

And you know something? Those same people are all ready to say and do things towards me which insult the way I live, who I am, what I've said and how I feel without even thinking about it... without editing themselves, without stopping and seeing if they're going to stand on my toes about what they're about to say.

So, right now, I'm sick to death of the insulted generation of people who are insulted by everything we say. They get insulted by all of the things on the news, the way people dress, the music that's from the 80's (and the decades before that) saying it's sexist and horrible. The insulted generation are insulted by how things were in the past and expect everyone from that time to apologise for being a part of it, being brought up in it and not knowing any different because it was the only way they knew how life was.

Well, you know something? I'm not sorry for who I am. And if you don't like it, that's too bad! I'm sick and tired of being the nice person who thinks twice before she speaks, dresses like Grandma because people will think she's showing too much leg, and goes out too much on her own - but really, what's it to you what I do with my life? What you should be doing is concentrating on your own life and stop looking at mine. 

I'm not apologising for anything I've done, anything I'm currently doing or anything I'm going to do in the future. And like I said, if you don't like it - tough!

I'm Disgusted!

Yes, you read right! 

I'm disgusted!

As a lot of you know - or may not know - I'm currently fund-raising for The World's Greatest Shave; and this year, I'm shaving all my hair off to donate it. And there's a lot of hair!

So, I jumped into the fund-raising joys in December and the Leukaemia Foundation sent out my pack just before New Year's Eve... so I got myself into gear just as the New Year started out. I approached my local doctors at the Springwood General Practice to find they had changed hands and managers.

I thought, okay, no biggie. This should be okay.

Boy, was I wrong!!

A month later, I dropped in there to pick up a prescription to find my donation box and two posters were nowhere in sight! I asked the girls at the counter, 'Where's the donation box for the World's Greatest Shave, and the posters?' They acted as though I'd never been there... I craned my neck and found my donation box had been shoved onto a bookcase, out of sight of the public!


Oh. My. God! Where they kidding?

'What is it doing there?' I pointed at the box. They all looked at it and shrugged, 'And where are my posters I gave you.' they shrugged again.
One said, 'The posters could be in the office, I'll go and look.' and she did and said that they weren't there, 'You'll have to talk to Ruby.'
'I did talk to Ruby.' I said. 
Within 24 hours, the donation box was out on the counter, but I never saw my posters out.

Just yesterday, I went to check on the donation box. It's been 3 weeks since that incident, and I wanted to see how it was going. I found .30c in the donation box and my posters were *still* not out on the walls. So I asked, 'Where are my posters?' 
'Of what?' the two at the counter asked with doe-eyed looks on their faces.
'For the World's Greatest Shave. The donation box has only .30c in it.' I said, 'This is horrible.' 
These two shrugged at me, 'Oh, they could be in the office.' they didn't make any effort to see if the posters were in there, then one said, 'Or in the bin.' 
I left the donation box there and walked out, then stopped at the doors of the shopping centre, turned around and went back to the doctor's surgery, 'You know, this isn't going to work. I asked this surgery in good faith to do this for me - and this surgery has done this for me since 2011 - and you just... I'll move the box somewhere else. Forget the posters. I've more.' I walked out, I'm so disgusted in how I was treated, I almost started crying.

I walked straight to the Springwood Pharmacy at Arndale - across the way from the surgery, and talked to the owner there. Not twenty minutes before, he had offered to take the donation box off my hands and put it on his counter. 
He saw me and asked, 'So how much did it have?'
'Only .30c.' 
He was disgusted.
'And they ditched my posters.' 
He took the donation box straight away, 'After this, you can come here every year.'
'I'll bring posters on Monday.'

I can't believe a doctor's surgery has done this to me after all this time! This is the same surgery I go to to see a doctor - not just to drop off donation boxes. This is my own private doctors I see for everything. I can't believe that just because it's changed management, it's treating a charity like this. 

Yes I'm disgusted... and they should be embarrassed for doing this to me and to the Leukaemia Foundation.

One Month

It's just a month from when I get my head shaved and I donate my hair to get it all made into a wig!

Yes, it's not long now, and I'm looking forward to this event at Wishart, here in Brisbane. I'm hoping to raise plenty of money for the Leukaemia Foundation through the work of some great people alongside me.

The Logan Artists Association will be having a raffle where the money from it will be going straight to the Leukaemia Foundation and I've got a donation box at the local doctor's near me so people can donate money at the front desk too. I'm also hoping to get in and get people to help me with fundraising on Facebook too, through my official site where I do most of my fundraising... and I do most of that through the next 4 weeks.

So, during this time, I'm knitting up a storm and making hats for myself. And I'm also working on getting myself fit and healthy enough to get through Winter without a cold or a flu this time around. 

I can't wait to get in and do this so I can regrow my hair and do it all again in around 5 years' time. How cool will that be? It's gonna be great!

The Year of the Pig

Well, by the way I'm throwing things out and donating things to charity stores, you'd think the opposite with me.

I'm making sure my house is cleaner this year. I'm not buying as much at charity stores either. In this past week, I spent only $9.00 when I normally would have spent over $20.00... so that's a good thing.

Anyway, this cleaning out thing has rubbed off on my Mum. She's seen how much I've tossed out through my photo albums on Facebook and wants to join in the big tossout. So, I'm helping her out soon.
Today, I've seen the first signs that the huge dry spell we've been suffering through is breaking. Townsville is flooding and now, it's Brisbane's turn to get some well-deserved rain... and man, I'm looking forward to it!

This year is a big one for me. I'm saving money, painting more and am looking at working towards getting another car. Well, okay not a car per say, but a van so I can travel around the paint what I see. It's a project I want to do as an ongoing thing in my life. It will be something which will make me happy - I know it. 
But it's not a 6-month idea, it's a long-term idea. This will take a couple of years to work on, and it's because I have to make sure I save my dosh and get myself and my life pulled together properly. 

The Big Clean-out this year is the biggest one I've ever done; and it's something which is going to make me really look at what I've got and push me to either keep or toss exactly what I want or not want in my life.
You see, over the past 6 months, I have had a turn of such clarity in my life. It's hard to explain it. I very suddenly know what I want in my life and - dammit - I'm going for it. I'm painting faster than I've ever painted. I'm cleaning out my house faster, and with better decision-making than I ever did. And I know exactly what I want to do in my life too.

In this month, I'm hoping to get in and finish some paintings, start another few. Then, save up big for my next vehicle, work on cleaning out the house (and seeing most of it has been done over the past few years, I don't have far to go). I'm also hoping to keep my opshopping to a minimum - only purchasing what's needed around the house and that's it. 

This year will not be without its challenges, you know, as I'll have the World's Greatest Shave in March where I'll be shaving all my hair off, then first year anniversary of the death of my dear friend, Hannah, I'll be seeing if I can sell some paintings to get myself a few other exhibitions. There's going to be other things going on in my life which I have yet to plan for. But isn't that the fun of life? Being spontaneous? Sure it is. I can't plan everything in my year... well, not yet, anyway. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

A Different Year

This year is different somehow, I don't know how, but it is. I've been thinking and feeling different about my life since last October and it's a good feeling.

I'm not sure if you understand how this is, but it's almost as though all my stresses which annoyed and stressed me out last year, have suddenly lifted and I'm able to focus on the main things I have on my plate in my life.

It's a great feeling.

And it's a different year for me.

Last year was a stressful, hard year of loss, mourning and not having any money in my pockets. This year, I'm looking at my life and realising it's got nothing to do with money - it's to do with happiness; and happiness doesn't need money really.

I've got plans and they will take time to work out - a couple of years - and I'm easy with that. It's going to be a good thing for me to slow down, enjoy the path I'm walking for now and enjoy the scenery of my life for the time being. And that's a good change for once, because over the past few years, I've been rushing, running and working hard and fast - been stressed out - to get thing done; and it's not good for me physically or mentally. 
Now, I'm going so well, since I joined a gym and I'm starting to push myself a little harder each week there. I'm feeling so much better, suffering from less headaches and less problems. I'm thinking outside the box more, and it's good.

Seeing I'm looking forward to working away from my home and towards the plans in my life, I'm trying not to let anything bother me anymore - well, yeah, things bother me; if I didn't I wouldn't be human. But it's a learning curve for all of us. 

I'm still enjoying my painting, my reading, my writing, and my gardening. But I'm taking it all at a good pace. I'm painting more than one painting at a time, I'm reading well-written books, I'm eating only when I'm hungry and I'm not watching crappy television shows (let's face it, life is way to short for shit like that). 

It's a different year and I'm going to make it count. So, why don't you? Make your next year count. Do something different each month - each week - to keep yourself happy, active and working forward towards your goals of what you want to do in your life. I may have waited until I was 45 to get my butt into gear, but at least I'm doing what I need to do to get my dreams done. And it might take a year or two to get them off the ground? So be it... I'm a slow-burn kinda person anyway. I'm enjoying each day with vigor, seeing each day as a new way of getting in and cleaning out my house, making room, donating items to a charity, making sure I have thrown out another few bags of rubbish in the bin... yes, it's all working towards my goal, believe it or not. 

So, what's your dream, your goal, your whale? Write it down, plan for it.... and take the steps - not matter how small they start out to be - to walk towards your dream job, or dream achievement in your life. And what your dream may be to you, isn't the same dream for somebody else. So, the people who think your dream isn't good enough, isn't what they think is something you should be doing, well, they aren't the people you should have around you. 

Your dreams are your dreams. 

Plan them. Work toward them. Live them.