Been A While,... But...

I've been busily writing, volunteering, doing house work, falling down, and donating plenty of gear to charity.

Yes... you read right. I fell down. That happened on Monday just gone, and I bruised some ribs and floating ribs on my right side. It was the type of fall where once I started to fall, I couldn't stop myself, I just had to let it happen! Don't you hate those ones? Same here.

Well, it's been two days, and I'm going okay. My ribs still hurt - but not as badly as yesterday - and I'd taken a chunk off the side of my middle finger; and that still hurts like hell every time I do something - anything! But I keep on keeping on... you know. 

Anyway, I've been busily cleaning out, washing the car, reseeding the back lawn and mowing that once it got long enough... and then going to art class and working on my newest painting. I'm still learning plenty of new things from Aaron... and enjoying how the shadows can be hard and soft in the same painting... and yet mean different things while they're only centimetres apart. 

Otherwise, I've been making pin cushions like they're going out of style. These are for my next market in October; and I've yet to still get myself into making new business cards for that too; as I'm running out of those as well. I'll see what VistaPrint does for me and design a card then get them to post them out to me in time for the market... sounds great, right?

I'm also still decluttering my house - as usual - and writing my blog about it too (A Work In Progress). Check it out with my other blogs... it's a good formal blog which has advice, ideas on decluttering, cleaning and other discussions if you wish to join in. But I've mainly created it to keep me in check with my own decluttering - and it has! I know that sounds weird, but it does keep me in line - and 8 months along, I'm really doing better with this blog on here. It makes me take notice of my house and do the things I promise myself that I'm going to do. 

Well, last week, I got a tattoo of my medical band to my right arm... it's plain, ordinary and right where the police and medics would see it... it's also where the nurses and doctors would see it too in a hospital. this is a good thing for me, as I no longer need to wear a bracelet. A lot of people living with Epilepsy (and other medical problems) are doing this so they can do away with the bracelets - which are easily lost - and have it on their skin instead. 

Anyway, that's all the news from my end. How's your life? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Early Spring Clean

I haven't been on here for quite a while, and there's a good reason. 

I've been getting in and doing an early Spring Clean. 

With the weather warming up and the sun out with a strong wind, I thought to get all my winter woolies all washed - including the winter blanket - so I didn't have to do it Summer.

Then, I've tidied up the living room, put away the VCR tapes up in my bedroom wardrobe (they don't play, but I'm getting them put onto dvd soon). I'm also vacuuming when I can, and making sure all my clothes are put away.

I'm creating new habits too... you know the end of the night habits of washing up and tidying up the living room before bed. And then there's the making of the bed in the morning and organising what I'll be eating every day before 3pm. I never thought all of this would make life easier; but it does!

Anyway, I've been trying to stick to these new habits, and it's not easy. But I've found that I've got more time to do what I love to do - write books. Yep, I'm back into writing my books again during the day this time - so at night I'm skipping the computer and heading off to bed earlier in the night and getting a better night's sleep.

And to think this just started out with and early Spring Clean, right?

Well, I better be going. I have a letter to write to a friend who isn't on the internet. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Do Something Different for July!

This past month has been busy. But I have spent a lot of time at home doing home-body stuff too, which is unusual of me. Normally I'm out and about being the social butterfly; unfortunately, I've been too broke to do anything but read books, paint and clean out my house and fix up the garden.

Lately, I've bought some grass seed to replace the lawn the Logan City Council destroyed. I did put down lawn food, but it didn't do anything - I needed to re-seed it and make more lawn. This has been really horrible because normally, I have a lovely, green, lush lawn in Winter, and it makes my yard lovely and hardy for Summer - keeping the bindis away for the hotter months too. However, I've had to start again and now I've got muddy patches under the clothes line, right where the they'd grow and get me in Summer.
Otherwise, I've been repotting plants and potting up some cuttings from the Frangipani at unit 16. The guy there got it removed and is growing Roses instead. So, I asked if I could take a few cuttings and the gardener he hired said yes; and that he was going to dump the tree. I suggested transplanting it into another garden or a park... seeing the root ball was still intact. He shrugged and walked off. I'm not sure what he did with it, but I hope he did transplant it, it puts out such lovely flowers.

Anyway, I finished 'The Tuscan Garden' and started on 'The Living Room' in my art class. Aaron Pocock, our teacher, is thrilled I'm learning so many things; but it's taking time for me to take in what's he's teaching us. He doesn't mind how slow it's taking me, he likes seeing my work transform the way it has. Okay, the first painting took 4 months, but I learned so much from it! And this second painting is ticking along so much faster now I'm painting tonally, and not the way I painted the last one. I've been taking a lot more notes and enjoying it more. 

Earlier in the month, I found I had given away one of my warmest top sheets! How silly was that of me to do? Well, after I stopped kicking myself, I went off to the manchester place at Springwood and bought a lovely set of sheets for $35 which are just lovely! I guess giving away something by accident results in getting something just beautiful in return. 

Art class is going really well. I finished 'The Tuscan Garden' and have it all ready for the raffle in October and now I've begun 'The Living Room' - a bigger painting with more elements and a cosier look to it. I'm a few weeks into it and it's looking great.

I've been neglecting the house lately, so this week, I've promised myself to keep it tidier than it has been. Today, I cleaned the bathroom - including the window sill - and the tub downstairs in the laundry and then cleaned out the fridge and put out all the rubbish as well. In between all that, I picked up and unpacked a few things, a few bags and gathered together my shopping bags from last week and will be putting them away soon. Then, after I get offline, I'll be pulling the clothes off the clothes horse and taking the clothes basket upstairs to keep it all tidy in that. 

Yep, housework never finishes. That's for sure!

Well, that's all for now. I have been meaning to hang out with friends, but without any fun-money in the accounts, I can't really go anywhere. So, home is where I'm stuck for now. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

A Deceit by Chocolate

For a week where I wasn't expected to do anything or go anywhere, didn't have any doctor's appointments or have anywhere to really go, I was really busy.

Monday was my usual art class. But I felt sick the whole time; and just came home hibernated for the afternoon. I didn't know why I was sick, but I was. My guts were going backflips and I was sweating like you wouldn't believe. I kept thinking I was going to have a seizure - but it never happened. I also didn't want to eat, and couldn't sleep.

Something was up, and it was in my food.

So, I sussed out what I had been eating since last week... and you know? It was the new Lindt Orange chocolate pillows. I read the ingredients, didn't know half the numbers and started Googling. Oh... My... God! You wouldn't believe what those new number meant! 

I found numbers 211 and 401 weren't what I thought they'd be. One of them were to preserve jellies and fruit colourings (which is what was inside the pillows the chocolate - the orange substance) and 401 was something that caused cancer and both of them were Halal Certified! 211 could cause all kinds of problems with nausea and causing your body to not absorb nutrients properly and other bigger problems - like dizziness and confusion. 

Exactly why did they put this shit into this particular chocolate then think it was okay to sell it to the public??? I have Googled around again and again, and still come to the same conclusion about these two additives - they are not good for us; whether they have the E on the beginning of the numbers or not... don't eat them! Here's a site for you go to where you can read all about what these do to you... it's really unsettling.

After I threw out the Lindt Orange pillows, and went back to my ordinary chocolate, I was fine within 48 hours. I started eating better, sleeping better and not feeling so sick in the guts. Now, all I want to do is catch up on my sleep... I've lost about 3 nights' worth. 

Catching Up

As you all know, I've been crook as a chook with laryngitis... but then, a youngster coughed on me as I was getting over that and I caught it again! Well, a cold attached to that darned laryngitis anyway.

So, off to the doctors I went again and I was giving more antibiotics again and I was stuck at home - again - with a horrible cough, sinus and unable to sleep at night. 

Thank the Gods that happened before it got really cold!

Now, I'm catching up with the vacuuming, the housework, the gardening and the cleaning of the car. It's all slow-going, but I'm happily just doing a couple of loads of laundry, putting it outside in the hopes it'll dry (and it doesn't) and then pulling it in and putting it all on the clothes horse, once I pull the last lot off there. It's a never-ending circle of damp laundry in the house where I'm constantly running into the clothes horse.

I can't wait until it's all under control and I don't have to do so many loads of laundry every week. This is what happens when I get sick, everything gets so set back because I become lazy.

Anyway, I'm also working on the garden after the Logan City Council killed off most of my lawn. The lawn food hasn't done anything to fix it; so it looks like I'll have to get in and buy some lawn seed and work on it before Spring comes by. Jeez, I hate that... just when I thought my lawn was going well, somebody comes by and kills half of it off. 

Well, I've been reading again too - mainly in bed just before I turn out the light. Yep, I've gotten into the habit of not being on the computer late at night because it's causing sleeping problems for me. So, once I've finished watching television at around 10pm, I'll turned it off, clean up the living room, wash up the last of my tea and teapot and make sure everything is locked up. Then, I'll turn out the lights and get ready for bed (aka: P.J's, brush my teeth, put on the coconut oil and brush my hair and take my calcium pill) and then read a book for around an hour; and this is a real book, not a kindle. I don't like those things. They're too delicate for me. I have a tendency of throwing a book onto the floor before turning out the light. A kindle will only put up with being tossed like that before it breaks... so a real, paper and cardboard book is for me. I sleep better when I don't hit the computer at night; especially if I'm not feeling all that great and am battling a cold. 

So, it's been been three weeks, of me reading a couple of chapters of a book and so far, I've read one book, started another and am well on the road to my recovery of my reading slump. Not a bad run really. I'm starting out small and am building up to bigger books; all at around 11pm at night. 

Well, that's what I've been up to lately. I'm also catching up with my letter-writing. I'm writing a nice newsy letter to a friend in Toowoomba; and including photographs too. You see, she's an elderly lady I've known for years, and she doesn't like the internet or have a Facebook page. So, I've been writing to her twice a year or so and sending her lovely photos of my garden, my house, and my car, and where I go every few months... she loves it all, as it's just such a lovely way of keeping in contact. And besides, there's nothing like receiving a letter in the mail, is there? Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

This Week

I've been busily working away here at home with all the housework... and yet looking longingly at my painting to work on it.

Yep, I'm not well again and still want to work on my Tuscan Garden. I just wish I knew how to do bricks... they still look flat! Oh well, I'll get it.

This week, I bought a new set of sheets, have done loads of laundry, washed up a lot, put out plenty of rubbish and sorted out a lot of other things that needed sorting; and yet feel as though I've gotten exactly nowhere with anything around here.

I've still yet to journal some books for release for tomorrow at a coffee shop I'm going to meet up with a friend at, and figure out what I'm going to wear to that meet-up as well.

This week has been a week of me going to the doctors, taking antibiotics, making sure I'm warm, well-rested and not going anywhere much - just hanging around the house. In other words: boring stay at home stuff. Normally, I'm barely home and out and about doing all kinds of things. This week, I've caught up with so much, I'm amazed that there is still so much to do around the place. 

I think it's the gardening which has really caused me to be that busy. In the next week or two, I'm going to be getting in and working on it more and more, getting another larger pot for another plant and moving plants around the place, making the garden transform yet again into something else completely; compared to last year's effort. 

Well, they were forecasting rain today, but the skies are still bright blue outside. I think I'll leave the laundry out for a bit longer. I have a photograph to take for my next painting... and a canvas to look for in the next week or so. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

First Day of July, and...

I've had a very busy day today.

First off, I cooked up myself a really great breakfast - but didn't want it. So, I tossed it out and washed the car.

Then, I cleaned the tyres, put armorald onto the important inside parts and then polished it and cleaned the headlights. 

Yep, my little car shone like a new penny! 

By this time, I was staaaarrrving! About time. But then, I thought it was a good time to take a little drive to get the water and crap out of the brakes and tyres. 

So, I took off to Simply Beans and enjoyed a lovely ice coffee and Belgian Waffles! Yummo! I read the paper a little (something I never do on a Saturday) and then took off to Bunnings and bought 2 bags of potting mix and tried to get another large $16 pot, but I could only afford the potting mix - oh well, next time!

After that, I was back on the road to Arndale and looking at Variety1. This place has a huge amount of goodies from Mont Mart... and so I bought a couple of things to send off to Mark, who is in hospital right now. I was hoping to visit him, but I've come down with a cold I caught off a 5 year old around my complex. 

Jeez, if it's not laryngitis, it's the common cold... man, where did I go wrong? 

Anyway, I'm home now, it's around 4pm and it's beginning to get cold. Last night, I was hoping to change the top sheet of my bed to another warm sheet, and when I pulled out the other sheet, I found out the hard way that I gave away the wrong bloody sheet to charity! I gave the Queen sized sheet and kept the double sheet! Damn! I knew I should never do that, give my sheets away to anyone... this has happened before.

So, now, I have to go and buy another Queen size sheet for the bed.

Anyway, I've gotten a lot done today. The yoghurt I made last night worked out - second time's a charm - and I'm looking forward to chilling out around the house tomorrow and doing some gardening in the next couple of weeks. 

Well, I'm hoping to vacuum out the car tomorrow when the car port dries out. But the car looks lovely and clean now. Well, that's me for now. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember I'm always here.

Strings Attached

Over the past few weeks, I've been crook; so much so I missed one art class, but I was back at it again last week.

And over the past week, Eckersleys has had an art sale like you wouldn't believe! I've been eying off a gorgeous easel over the past 6 months. As usual, if I really like something, I don't say much about it, just admire it quietly and wait for the price to drop. Well, I've been admiring this one Jasart Bamboo Easel for around 6 months and waiting very patiently for the price to drop - and at the same time I'm coming into some money... so I thought to get a bit of money and buy it.
However, when it came time to pull those two things together, it didn't quite work out the way I thought it would. The money is in my Dad's account, and he said no to me using some of it to buy this lovely easel at 55% off! I mean, it was at the cheapest it's ever going to be!

Anyway, we went to Eckersleys and he looked around at the place and he ended up paying for it. But I still want to pay for it out of my own money; not work it off. This makes me feel like a slave, not like his daughter. I don't know why this has happened, but I don't like being in somebody's debt for things. And when the time comes, I'll be getting the money out to pay for it in full. 

As much as I love scoring new things like this - or second-hand - I really don't like it when people do this to me. I hate being in people's debt. Right now, I feel as though the easel isn't mine... not really. It's on loan from my Dad because he bought it for me and he wants me to do things around his place for him to pay it off. That's adding strings to something, not treating me like family, or acting as though he doesn't trust me. 

It's a little wonder I often feel as though I'm not part of the family; and I feel as though I'm not trusted with anything and I'm left out of a lot of things as well.  It's also a little wonder I have trust issues with people - outside and family as well as within it - when my own Dad acts as though I can't be trusted and has to do this kind of thing to get me to do things for him. All he has to do is ask me to help him out, not blackmail or bribe me. Doing that just keeps me from getting to know him as anyone else but a my Dad. 

And when this happens, the family dynamics disappears very quickly. He loses my respect quickly too. 

Been Depressed, Been Working On It

A few weeks ago, I was really depressed... and I mean, I just couldn't get myself out of it. But I've been slowly working at getting myself out of that and back into my happy space.

It's not easy, but I'm getting there.

I'm back into reading again; and that's a start. I'm also painting again too. I'm into the last fine bits of my painting for a raffle at Murarrie State School; and I'm looking forward to it too.

It's Winter and I'm hoping to get my butt into my garden again  as well with the pots I scored from the Logan City Council and some potting mix. And recently, I scored some cuttings of white Frangipanis which are going to look just lovely in a few years' time, once they get going in their own pots!

I'm still decluttering the house - the most recent item I've cleaned out is the entertainment unit. I've found so many VCR tapes and we have to look into getting them digitised as we can't view them on digital televisions as they're analogue tapes.
And I'm still tightening up the house so much. I still want to add a few more wall-hangings - but I just can't find them at charity stores. So, it looks like I'll have to find pictures of what I want a painting of and duplicate it on my own, find a suitable frame and hang it myself. 

Really, I'm hanging to move out of this place still. I do need a real house - not another townhouse as the body corporate fees are just too expensive - to live in. The extra space would be good for me and so would the extra yard for me to use for a garden... seeing I've started expanding my garden into a forest of its own now. 

Yep, I'm still fighting the Black Dog on a daily basis, and I'm winning. In the last week, I came down with Laryngitis and I'm getting over it quickly with antibiotics which make me feel like throwing up and falling over at the same time. Either way, I'm sleeping at night and my voice is returning quickly - unlike last Thursday and Friday when it wasn't with me at all. Well, I'm hoping to get myself to my art class tomorrow... I have missed it dearly. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.

Been A While

I'm sorry. It's been a while, and I haven't written anything here. It's not because I haven't got anything to write - or say - I do.

It's because I'm not happy in myself and I don't really want to burden you all with it.

I hate depression. It really does get me down and I wish it would go away; and normally it does. However, this time it's sticking around longer than it usually does. And I know why. 

I'm not happy with where I'm living. I've lived in the same place for almost 15 years and I really don't the space to do what I want to do around the townhouse. Every time I want to do any sewing, I have to move things off the kitchen table, open it up, pull down my sewing machine and do my sewing all in one day. Then after I'm finished, I have to put it all away so I can eat dinner at the same table. 

If I want to paint, I have to do the same thing at the work bench. There's only so much room I have around me before I have to pull out another table, move the chair - and I can't get around the extra table to get to the toilet or outside. Then, when it's time to finish up, I have to pack every last thing away so I don't trip over it later that night.

There's simply no room for me to just leave my gear where it is and go into another room and let it all alone for a day or two. 

Another room... now that's what I need... a 3rd bedroom so I can have a craft room where I can have all my things out and ready to use; where I don't have to put them away all the time, where I can just sit and sew or paint and draw or read art books and magazines. However, to have that 3rd room, I have to move out of the complex.

Herein lays the dilemma. I can't get out of here without a bank loan - which I'm unable to get from any bank; believe me I've tried. Nobody will lend me the money to buy a house off my own bat because I don't have collateral (which I'm still fuzzy on what that is exactly). I don't have any debt, no credit card, and paid off my last car in record time; so why I can't get a loan is beyond me if my credit rating is perfect and I'm unlikely to lose my pension anytime soon. And speaking of which, I'm unable to get a deposit together because the pension doesn't really allow you to save anything up - unlike the normal pay packet - it only just covers what you need to live; and that's it. So, how am I supposed to get a place of my own without relying on renting off somebody else? 

This means I'm stuck here until further notice... I hate this but it's true. I want to move, but can't - not won't - and am hating my position in life right now. 

So, this is why I haven't written for a while. This is heavy shit that's been on my mind for a long time; and is bubbling to the surface. My brother has been talking to me about it and knows I want to move as well. So he's more than glad to help me out with this too. I'm so happy he's on my side... but this will take time. Until my next post, take care, stay safe and remember, I'm always here.