This is my fifteenth year here in the unit complex; and things are going to change here. I have changed a lot over the time I've been here, and yet people have been doing the same things to me when I become friends with them.
Lies get swung around. Words are twisted, and then, finally, friendships are wrecked.
I've been here long enough that nothing surprises me anymore - seriously. I've seen all kinds of violence, people screaming at each other, having to call the police in the middle of the night, an other shit going on. And you know what? I've had it.
I hate this place to the point that if anyone wants a friend out of me, they'll have to look somewhere else for it because I'm not going to be it.
I have enough problems in my own life - outside of this place - to take on their problems as well. People here wonder why I don't really want to get involved in their problems when I've seen all of the same thing over and over again. Nothing surprises me anymore.
So, in my 15th year living here, I'm going to be one of the neighbours who say hi to all, but I'm not going to get too close as friends. I've been here too long to have close friends - as an owner, too many times rentals move in, stays for a while, then move away; there's little time to make life-long friendships.
I've got a car now - whereas when I moved in, didn't have one. My life is totally different than what it used to be. I run my own hobby business, I have a lovely little garden, I'm into the crafts, painting and cook. And if I don't want to get involved in the dramas of what's been going on, it's because I'm simply not interested in getting my head beaten in by the idiots who keep on coming here as visitors and screaming at anyone who goes near them because we've asked them to be quiet, go away or basically to turn off their damned loud music at 3am because they've woken up half the neighbourhood.
People here don't think I have a life. People here think that because I'm on Disability Pension that I sit and watch television all day and do sweet fuck all. People think that because I don't go out at 5am and work my arse off that I don't do anything with myself... that I don't have days where I feel like shit, where I can't sleep at night (so I feel like crap in the daytime), that I may look okay, but my back hurts, my joints are killing me or I'm just feeling like I'm going to be sick because the heat is really bothering me.
People around here just don't damned well think of why I'm on a Disability Support Pension - and how damned hard it is to get on that! The government doesn't give it to just anyone... you have to have a bloody good reason to be on it.
In my 15th year here, I'm going to stop explaining myself to people.
If they don't like me - fine.
If they think I'm a bitch - okay, think that.
If they want me to do something for them - maybe. What's in it for me?
And another thing: I've been here for 15 years. I may not look like it, but I'm hard as nails, won't take shit from anyone and will swear at you as soon as you're an asshole to me (because I'm usually pretty nice to you first off until you insult me). I'm over 40. I don't care what people think of me or what I say anymore... it's my 15th year in a unit complex in Woodridge in Logan City. I'm a hard person. I know that. This is what happens to somebody when you live in an area like this for this long.
Lies get swung around. Words are twisted, and then, finally, friendships are wrecked.
I've been here long enough that nothing surprises me anymore - seriously. I've seen all kinds of violence, people screaming at each other, having to call the police in the middle of the night, an other shit going on. And you know what? I've had it.
I hate this place to the point that if anyone wants a friend out of me, they'll have to look somewhere else for it because I'm not going to be it.
I have enough problems in my own life - outside of this place - to take on their problems as well. People here wonder why I don't really want to get involved in their problems when I've seen all of the same thing over and over again. Nothing surprises me anymore.
So, in my 15th year living here, I'm going to be one of the neighbours who say hi to all, but I'm not going to get too close as friends. I've been here too long to have close friends - as an owner, too many times rentals move in, stays for a while, then move away; there's little time to make life-long friendships.
I've got a car now - whereas when I moved in, didn't have one. My life is totally different than what it used to be. I run my own hobby business, I have a lovely little garden, I'm into the crafts, painting and cook. And if I don't want to get involved in the dramas of what's been going on, it's because I'm simply not interested in getting my head beaten in by the idiots who keep on coming here as visitors and screaming at anyone who goes near them because we've asked them to be quiet, go away or basically to turn off their damned loud music at 3am because they've woken up half the neighbourhood.
People here don't think I have a life. People here think that because I'm on Disability Pension that I sit and watch television all day and do sweet fuck all. People think that because I don't go out at 5am and work my arse off that I don't do anything with myself... that I don't have days where I feel like shit, where I can't sleep at night (so I feel like crap in the daytime), that I may look okay, but my back hurts, my joints are killing me or I'm just feeling like I'm going to be sick because the heat is really bothering me.
People around here just don't damned well think of why I'm on a Disability Support Pension - and how damned hard it is to get on that! The government doesn't give it to just anyone... you have to have a bloody good reason to be on it.
In my 15th year here, I'm going to stop explaining myself to people.
If they don't like me - fine.
If they think I'm a bitch - okay, think that.
If they want me to do something for them - maybe. What's in it for me?
And another thing: I've been here for 15 years. I may not look like it, but I'm hard as nails, won't take shit from anyone and will swear at you as soon as you're an asshole to me (because I'm usually pretty nice to you first off until you insult me). I'm over 40. I don't care what people think of me or what I say anymore... it's my 15th year in a unit complex in Woodridge in Logan City. I'm a hard person. I know that. This is what happens to somebody when you live in an area like this for this long.
No comments:
Post a Comment