Tired, Tired, Tired

Over the last week, I've been so very tired; and I know why.  I have been working on a book and it's been consuming my mind and keeping me awake over time.  However, as the day progresses, I feel better and more awake; it's really weird.  So, I try to get myself to do more things in the afternoon; and get myself tired.

Yesterday, I turned the computer off at around 3pm or so and did some washing up, had a shower, shaved my legs and sorted out the dirty laundry for today's washing.  Then, I sat down and had some cheese and biscuits and watched 'Head of the Class' after working on my self-portrait (which I'm finding harder than I first thought) and at around 5:30pm, I got in and made myself a simple salad wrap.  It tasted pretty bland, but I ate as much as I could before making a pot of Green Tea and grabbing some chocolate and then settling in for a few sitcoms and 'Neighbours'.

By the time 'Fringe' and 'Big Bang Theory' had finished it was 11pm and I dragged myself off to bed; being very tired and ready to sleep.  But once the head hit the pillow, and I had turned out the light, I was wide awake again.  I didn't know why; but I couldn't sleep and couldn't relax.  I had done all the right things and still felt like I needed to be somewhere besides right where I was... which was in bed.  My brain was still ticking over at the details of my last story I had worked on earlier that afternoon.  Bummer!  I really hate this part of being a writer; when I get into writing a book and it takes over my life to a point where nothing else really matters, but the book.  

But everything else does matter... my health, how I sleep, what I do and where I go does matter.  I must take care of myself otherwise I'll end up burning out because I've burnt the candle at both ends too much.  And this is what I don't like about being in this industry; not that I'm not published yet, that's not the problem.  It's that I have gotten some brilliant ideas, written them all down and suffered through the rough nights and horrible, zombied days that they cause and yet I still have to put up with not being able to sleep when I want to; when I'm supposed to.

The best thing I can do during these times is just look after myself the best I can and go with the flow until I lay down one night and am able to close my eyes and drift off without feeling like I'm supposed to be working on my writing.  Once I get back into the flow of sleeping well again, that's when I know I can go back to my work when I want; not because I need to but because I know it'll always be there for me to have a go at.