Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Outward Impressions

It's amazing what happens when you're in amongst people isn'tDuring the last week and a half, I've been out at Garden City and at Springwood and have found that the people walking around those places seem to switch off from others around them.  They walk around in a mild daze, not knowing or realising there's others around them.

I even did it at Woolworths while waiting in a queue.

There I was waiting in the self-service check-out queue and there were two teenaged girls ahead of me with a box of 'Golden Gaytimes' in their hands.  And all I could think of while they gabbled on about what 'a gay ol' time' they were going to have, as they put on airs and acted weird, was my Uncle and how he worked on the Streets Factory in Sydney to make it run better.  The girls noticed I was staring at their box of ice creams and one of them said I was being a weirdo, told a shop assistant and the lady said to ignore me and that I didn't look weird, that I looked sad; and they should know the difference.

Outward appearances can either put people off or annoy the crap out of people.  I try to keep myself as neutral as possible when I'm out and about; but it's hard when I dress in nice clothes.  The worse thing that can happen is that people don't see me and ram straight into me, at which point, I snap at them to watch where they're going - and believe me, everyone hears it.
And it's strange when people see and hear this and find that it's just little ol' me trying to defend myself.  I've had some say that I shouldn't make waves, whereas others say I should so I can keep my self-esteem up.  This confuses me as to where I stand in this world.  Do I stand up for myself or let others beat me down because that's how it all goes.

At volunteer work, there's a young teenager I work with who has a part time job with a Government agency.  He thinks he's better than everyone around him, the smarty-pants and the king pin... but recently I brought him back to reality and said that by the time he's 20 or 30, he'll be yesterday's news and he'll be either put out to pasture or placed in a lower position in the company.  He laughed saying that would never happen.  I countered his comment by telling him that there will be younger and smarter computer kids coming up in the world who will treat him like he's treating everyone now; and he'll hate it, just like we hate it.  And you know, the next time I saw him, he was nicer to me and everyone.

But it's not just us who are judged on our appearance - physically.  It's also our homes, our cars, our hair, what we listen to and who we read.  Everything about us is judged by the outside world; as that's how people find out more about us.  It's how everyone figures out who we are.  But sometimes, it's not exactly who we are.  There are times where you have to really dig deep and talk to the person to find out more about them to find the nuggets of truth that the outward appearances are gleaning overAs humans, we have a habit of hiding behind our well-built walls which guard our real selves behind it.  How that happens that we're so scared to show our real selves to the outside world, I'm not sure, but it would help a lot of us to become  exactly who we're supposed to be instead of who others think we are, wouldn't it?       

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